Welcome to Wild Woman Wisdom, the new blog brought to you by the same creator as Backpack Chronicles. Me! Why the name change and who and what is a Wild Woman?
Writing and creating in the form of short stories, articles, journaling, and blogging has always been an important part of my life. When I was in grade two, I wrote a story called A Dinosaur Came that was about a young girl and the adventures she went on with her Brontosaurus friend. That story gave me the opportunity to attend Young Authors where I fell further in love with imagination and storytelling. Writing gives me the space to explore my passions and curiosity. The pages I fill with words express joy, confusion, sorrow, anger, cheerfulness, sadness, and gratefulness.
I wrote countless pages of dark and disturbing poetry, stories, and journal entries as a teenager. It was a stark contrast from my innocent childhood days of dinosaurs and time machines. I cried out for help in short stories that I wrote for English class and my grade nine teacher spent time with me and even encouraged me to read one of my poems aloud to the class.
Expressing myself in other mediums like art is something I have often gravitated towards as well. I painted a picture in grade nine art class that was deemed too violent to be displayed in the hallway along with all the others. I was hyper-focused on the Jaws trilogy at the time so you can imagine what my painting looked like. Horror, thriller, and spooky stories were a favorite genre during my teenager years.
I started my grade ten year taking International Baccalaureate English. I felt like I had found my people in IB English and Drama class. One of our first assignments in English class was a book report on any book we desired. I chose Carrie by Stephen King and was told to never submit something like that again and I received a failing mark. Goosebumps in elementary and Fear Street in junior high were fine but Stephen King in high school was apparently off limits. I was just me being me and I liked Stephen King.
Rage swiftly took over my mind and body when I got angry. I saw black and lost control. My world became dark and I destroyed everything in my path. The only way to stop me was to be physically restrained. The police were called one day to do just that and I was taken to the Crisis Stabilization Unit at Marymound. I spent a week there and upon my release, my mom did not want me to come home. I was too much to handle. The holes in the walls left by my fists and feet were patched and I became a file in the foster care system at fifteen years old.
I took two buses with a downtown transfer to get to my high school. I started running with the girls in my foster home who carried traumatic life experiences in their baggage. We fed off each other and our brokenness connected us. I started drinking alcohol on a regular basis and my behaviour quickly got me kicked out of the foster home, along with the other girls as well. I left grade ten on the second day of second semester. I was a rebel with an anger problem and homeless.
My journals have never abandoned me and pen and paper (now keyboard and screen) have always been there for me. I cried out for help in a small journal that I carried with me while I was homeless. One such entry was while I sat in a park and wondered what would happen if I walked into the river and never came back. It sends shivers down my spine to know I was that lost. This is why I have an abundance of compassion for people struggling with their mental health.
Shortly after my daughter was born, I created Gemini Diaries, a blog about being a new mom and while she was a toddler, I wrote a short-lived blog called Finger Painting Mum. I created Backpack Chronicles when I decided to stop drinking and wanted a place to share my outdoor adventures while healing. Blogging has turned out to be incredibly therapeutic and has created a space for me to connect with people who are walking a similar path in life.
I have naturally flown into Wild Woman Wisdom while pondering this phase of life I find myself in. With the support of my therapist and my husband, I have taken a shovel to my past and unearthed what I once planted. I have examined the contents with heartache to seek answers to my questions. There are a few more plots that I need to dig up. It will include a bit of yelling (more so loud talking if I want to put a positive spin on who I am) and some tears. I haven’t cried yet in front of my therapist and I kind of want to.
I am in the midst of an awakening and I feel safe to explore all that makes me who I am. The soil that I have turned is being used to replant myself in beautiful and authentic ways. While I may not know exactly what the future holds for the Wild Woman that I am, my garden is being loved and cared for right now. It feels magical and so very right.
What is Wild Woman Wisdom? It is my wild heart that thirsts for freedom and exploration. It is my spiritual connection to the land and nature. It is my feminine energy and surrounding myself with beautiful human beings. It is knowing myself on a deeper level and loving every part of my spirit.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. Be well.
Credit: stock photo, no name found.